I see racist people...everywhere only they don't know they're racist.

Everyday you live in Mississippi is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie or more specifically like a gay clowns hairy ass shitting  in your mouth forever... and I'm white.

To be honest I've lived a sheltered life.

My parents raised truly color blind children.
I didn't hear the  "N"  word spoken with intended racist emphasis by a white person until I was 45 years old.  And this of course happened in Mississippi.

I was killing time waiting for my future third ex-wife to get off work.   Driving around her small town of McComb Mississippi  I saw a barber shop that was open with no one in the chair I thought hey I got time for a quick trim.

"Need a haircut?" queried the guy running the shop.

"Just a trim please" I replied and grabbed a newspaper off the table hoping that if I was reading I wouldn't have to talk to him.

Nope. He started right in.  "Readin the paper, Huh?" He inquired.  "Yep I'm a reader" I responded

To which he said with nonchalance, "So I guess you know we got a nigger mayor."

Now this was... Stunning.  I was truly stunned.   Never in my life had I heard an adult white person use that word in casual conversation.

I had of course heard the word before but never used like that.  In the same tone of  voice one would use to describe the brand of vehicle you drive. "So I guess you know we got a Toyota truck"

Even though I was reeling I thought immediately of something to say.  Usually it's later that I think of the perfect retort.   This was the first time in my life that right thing to say occured to me in the moment.

But before I tell you what I said let me tell you about the mayor of McComb Mississippi.

He was an Air Force fighter pilot and retired a colonel.  Do you know how hard it was in the 1970s in America for a black man to become a pilot?  Fucking hard.  He was harassed, he was hindered, he was hamstrung at every turn. He fought his way through that and retired a Colonel ... AND he was a fucking fighter pilot.

But that's not all folks next he  became the communications director of the American Cancer Society and retired from that.   After a life of service he moved to his hometown ran for mayor and won.  But to this goober, white trash, redneck, barely literate, inbreed,  gap toothed barber... He's just a nigger.

Having set the scene here is what was said....
Barber; "So I guess you know we got a nigger mayor."

To which I said "Oh you mean my future father-in-law?  See I'm getting a trim so I look sharp tonight because I'm taking him out to dinner to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage."

Drop the mic... walk off stage.

He didn't say another word for the rest of the haircut.  I'm lucky I didn't get this:

So I told the story to my future ex-wife expecting shock and revulsion  however she calmly and simply said "oh that barber shop? of course"

I used to get my haircut in Philadelphia at a place called the Opera Barbershop.

It's got Italian guys who cut hair and sing opera. That's my kind of Barber Shop not the racist and bigoted barber shop of McComb.

Racism is common, casual and runs deep in McComb Mississippi. Regular people, people of education,  people who I would assume are not racist routinely use expressions like "he's one of the good ones" or "well you know how they are."

The few years I was forced by marriage to live in Mississippi I developed a litmus test by which I could gauge the racism of an individual.  Here you go... If a white person likes anything that Tyler Perry has ever done they are a racist.   And if you love Madea you might as well join the clan.

Tyler Perry and especially Madea are the essence of Fubu: for us by us.  Aggressively stereotypical  humor which is just fine within the population it stereotypes.   But it should make nonracist white people feel uncomfortable.

When I shared this racism "test" with a black  friend he gave me a huge compliment.  He laughed and said "You know what Skip? You're one of the good ones"

Well you know how I am...

Oh and fuck Mississippi.